Daily Prompt : State of the year

Write up a mid-year “State of My Year” post.

State of year while I am still living it…..ummm…

For me, I do not count years and months. I count on days and taking life as it’s a day long. Strange? Might be, but that’s how I have been revolutionalized since last two years.

 

I was used to count on years, was used to count on big success, was ignoring all the little moments, was used to ignore family and feelings and was used to very strict about my schedule and follow-ups. I used to plan in detail about coming years of my life, how I want it to be and what I should do to achieve it. I thought planning for next 5 years of my life will always give me better vision about where I am and what I should do next. (I think, this post is getting irrelevant, sorry).

 

Before two years, the star fall in my lap and motherhood overwhelmed me. All those planning (big or small, long or short term) were not working. Sometimes we achieved our goal too early and sometimes for some goals we felt that it will never be achievable. And this prince (who has just turned two) taught me how to live LIFE. Its not planning (detailed planning) that will make you live. Its those little moments, when you feel happy and can spread happiness around, make your life a LIFE. After some of the good experiences, I just ignored my detailed planning and started living days. And believe me, its superb!!!

 

Everyday comes with a bright sun shine. It’s a new life every day. Total fresh slot of 24 hours and an opportunity to make it big or just live it. When I see in my son’s eyes, those twinkles tell me to shine on, to be bright like sun and to laugh like a kid, to learn like a student, to evaluate myself everyday and to live those little moments fully. And at the end of the day, that satisfaction of being mother, wife, employee, daughter, friend overwhelms me. I can tell it to myself that yes, I lived my day fully and so my life is full. This was not the case when I was living in years 🙂

 

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(photo : businessinsider.com)

 

So, for me, its not middle of the year and state of year. For me, its new ray of light and new day to live fully. I am not in middle of anything. I am living today, 24 hours. I am happy.  

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Daily Prompt: A Friend in Need

Finish this sentence: “My closest friend is…”

Years passed by and lately I have realized that my closest friend is my heart, myself.

Being a teenage and a collegian, I always fantasized for best friend. Someone with whom I can talk endlessly, someone who does not judge me, someone who always pick up my call no matter if its 4 am in the morning, someone who always hold my hand while my eyes are teary, someone who make me feel special…..endless expectations. Being a virgo, I have been always reserved and avoided public gathering, parties and friends meeting. I have always been in a shell and I always wanted that shell around me. Its not easy for someone to break that shell and to be friendly with me. Yes, I am that much rigid (not rigid actually, its my nature). Friends came and left, met and parted, enjoyed and separated. While growing with life, with different phase, I made different closest friend. We enjoyed the phase together and due to one or the other reason, we had to move away. Then another friend and another phase. It continued always.

But lately, I have realized that I have never been so open to anyone. I have always kept something up to myself only. Sometimes I tried to open up myself but after some extent, again that shell stopped me. What if they feel that I am talking silly? What if they will disclose the things to others? What if they will make a joke of my thoughts? What if they will not be able to understand me and will judge me? These questions always stopped me by sharing my thoughts to someone else. I have been wondering for most of the time, when I see people openly talking about their personal matters in a restaurant (busy places, where other people too might hear you), in the office and how fast they make friends. Not my cup of tea, for sure. I have tried to overcome but lately realized that I need to honor myself, for what I am. If I am not comfortable while sharing, that should be fine. I want to be with my heart and with myself and sorry, but I can not make friends so easily.

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(photo : vu-point.blogspot.com)

With that, I would like to mention two persons (I am not going to name them), who have been always close to me. These two people (they do not know each other), knows me at best. They know me and I can trust them to the extent that they will not judge me for any situation. And although we are not in constant touch, I can say, they are always there for me. Thanks for being there dears. I am counting on you. And finally, I should say that my hubby is also one of the best friend. The person, who always stood beside me firmly, the person who always showed me the path ahead, the person who always honored me the way I am and the person who always loved me beyond limits. I am grateful for these people being in my life. I am lucky, really.

Love never dies but destiny always has different plans

How should I convince Steve to re-schedule the task planning meeting?

Thoughts were running faster than the air plane, she travelled via, from India to US. Charmi, a corporate employee, and to be specific, project manager was on client visit for second time. Her charm, convincing power, communication capabilities and hardwork earned her this visit for second time in row. Steve, the client manager was quite impressed with ideas and hardwork of Charmi and her team. Today, Steve scheduled an important meeting and it was clashing with her Indian team meeting time. She was thinking about how she can convince Steve to reschedule the meeting. Her mind was at work but was not producing ideas, strangely. She decided to take a break and visit the near by restaurant for breakfast, as she did not take breakfast today morning. She immediately collected her coat and purse and walked away.

At restaurant, after having that beans soup with honey bread, she felt better. She decided to resume work and so was leaving the restaurant. While coming out of that little glass door of the restaurant, unknowingly her shoulder touched someone. She turned to say “Sorry” but could not. Her eyes remained wide opened. The person opposite to her also was in same situation. Yes, he was Yash. Yash – this name was enough to make Charmi’s heartbeats faster, once upon a time. The person, for whom she was mad during golden years of her young age. Finally, she balanced herself and gave a smile, although words were not coming out of her mouth.  Yash too gave that killer smile back and she thought she felt that same love feeling after years. Yash asked her to join for coffee and she could not deny. Still I am driven by him, she thought.

On the table, no one spoke for few moments and then Yash started. He asked Charmi about her visit and she explained her work and responsibilities. To this, Yash too responded back with his nature of work and his current role in the MNC, he was working with since last 5 years. And unknowingly and subconsciously both of them driven to the track of personal life. At depth of the heart, both of them wanted to know about each other’s life but again that hesitation was around. Although Yash clearly mentioned about his happy marriage life with Amee and how much he was enjoying with his little baby girl – Krisha. Those words created wounds on Charmi’s heart. How can he be so happy without me? Her mind again thought. She too said about her happy marriage life with Rishabh and their children Jay and Rishi. To this, Yash smiled and complimented her about the figure she had maintained and the way she still carried herself. That pampered her ego slightly. Suddenly her phone rang and Steve was there on the other end. She came down to real world and said Bye to Yash. None of them showed the wish to meet again but both of them, at heart wanted to meet again. Although they did not exchange even phone numbers and Charmi left the restaurant.

At work, she was not able to do anything. She was not able to concentrate, not able to respond in the meeting and even was not able to talk about her ideas about the new task. She excused herself by complaining headache and left for hotel. At hotel too, nothing gave her comfort. Yash was on her mind completely. She felt strange. At the age of 36, what was driving her so crazy, she thought to herself. I need to be very practical and need to focus on today, she told to herself. But today, nothing was working. She kept thinking about Yash, his personality, his talks, his humor and the way he was looking today.

On the other side, Yash too could not avoid that continuous chain of thoughts about Charmi. He felt like he fell in love with her again. He recalled those tiny earings she had put on, that oval shaped wrist watch and that folded sleeve shirt…..he created her again in his thoughts. He decided to go back to home and to play with Krisha. But that too did not work and Charmi was ruling on his mind today.

Both of them wanted to see each other, wanted to meet each other, wanted to talk with each other……In the hope of meeting Yash, Charmi visited the same restaurant again at the same time, next day but did not find him. She just decided to forget about him (almost impossible task for her now) but GOD had better plans. That evening, while she was in the super mall, looking for something for Jay and Rishi, she heard that voice again. She turned back and yes, he was Yash again. Both of them gave each other a wide smile, a clear signal of how happy they were while seeing each other. Yash texted to Amee that he was busy in a meeting and switched off his phone. They found a corner table in the cafeteria and again that unbroken series of talk, laugh and stares started. After 11 years of separation, they both were feeling the same love feelings today, while being with each other.

Yes, its been 11 long years. The world changes in a decade, people say. But for these love birds, the old world was regenerated. They were madly in love with each other. First meeting via a common friend and those follow up group meets added fuel to that ignition. Those long talks on phone and those day offs from office, those excuses, those SMSes, those e-mails……love was blooming. Both of them were dreaming for the world where they both will be always together. But that great GOD…..with different plans. Yash was offered a very good opportunity from his client in US and he grabbed it. Being happy for the opportunity Yash was offered, Charmi cried a lot. She knew that long distance relationship does not work and she was not capable of facing the social pressure, lonely. Although she wanted Yash to understand or read her mind but Yash was on seventh cloud. He started preparation and was so much excited that his mind never notify that Charmi was not smiling now a days. She was visiting him less frequently and was speaking only few words. And Yash flew to the new land. The land of opportunities, the land of success, the land of magic….he was busy. At the other end, Charmi waited and waited for his calls, e-mails, texts…but nothing came in. Yash was busy and Charmi had attitude. That beautiful love started shrinking. Finally Charmi decided to move ahead with life and got married with Rishabh, choice of her parents. Luckily, Rishabh was a nice guy and he adjusted with and pampered Charmi very well. News of Charmi’s marriage, after 6 months, made Yash almost null. He was almost down and was completely out of mind. It took him time to collect himself and build up the life again. After a year or so, while visiting India, he married with Amee, choice of his parents. Even though aggressive and slightly jealous in nature, Amee controlled and handled him very well. And today? Destiny had again some other plans.

It was 11 pm and Charmi reminded Yash to leave for home. Yash offered him a drive till her hotel and she could not say NO. At hotel entrance, when Charmi was about to leave the car, Yash held her hand. Charmi was shocked. This was unexpected. Yash immediately left her hand and Charmi walked in. That night was unbearable. Yash dialed her number for 15 times but Charmi did not pick up. She was not able to justify her mind and heart to herself. Her heart wanted to be with yash and her mind wanted her to be practical and was reminded him about Rishabh. Tears rolled down and she cried like anything. She was not able to understand game of destiny. Finally, at 5:15 a.m. she picked up Yash’s call. Yash did not speak anything for a minute and while she was about to cut the call, she listened “I love you Charmi. I love you like anything. I want to be with you forever. I don’t understand what this feeling is, what is the fact and what is right and wrong. My heart, rightnow is begging for you and I am not able to tolerate that negligence from your side. I love you, my love”. And finally she heard some sobs and could not decide what to say. She cut down the call and cried again.

The next day, when Yash arrived to her hotel, Charmi had already left. She left a letter for him. He was almost faint when he heard that she had left for India. He opened the letter and started reading…”I am not sure, whether you still need any proof about my feelings or not but in case if you need, yes, I too love you. I loved you, love you and will love you forever. I never expected you to be in my life again. But after being with you, I feel like I am doing something wrong. My yesterday was definitely you and my tomorrow might be you but my today is Rishabh and I need to honor my today. I have been crying for the whole night on this cruelty of destiny but could not do anything rather than crying. With eyes full of tears, I am leaving Indy (Indianapolis, US) and you. I really wish, we never meet again. I really wish that love will always in our heart. And with these wishes, I want to see again and again. Yes, I am getting mad and I can not afford to be. So, I am leaving. Leaving forever. Good bye my love. Take care”. Yash had tears in his eyes.

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(photo : personalife.psu.asu)

I am shortening this story here only. I am not judging whether Charmi did right thing or not. I am not here to discuss about extra marital affairs. I am not here to discuss about love even. I just want to try to understand one thing – why destiny always has different plans? Why so cruelly she takes up someone from our life and sends them back when least expected or accepted? Whats wrong with it? I don’t know. Do you know dear readers? Do you have answers? I am here with all ears. Please write back.

Birth story of l’étoile – Sharvil, after 24 months

Yes, its been 24 months and he, our prince (as they call l’étoile, in French) will turn 2, within few seconds. The star, who arrived with love and happiness and fall in my lap on the precious day. I wanted to write this since long, probably the day he born but could not. And then I always had excuses about everything and anything. 

I am not sure, I was ever desperate to be a mother. In fact, I was afraid of losing that slim figure, mommy feeling and talkies and to be honest, cleaning the potty of baby.  But I was already 31 and was feeling that time was slipping from hands. We (I and my husband) wanted someone with us for whole life. Someone, for whom we can earn, learn, dance, laugh, cry, cook, worry, live, die and be happy.  Someone who can rule our minds and lives and who can ask us to do mysterious things at any point of time. We would be happy, we thought.  

8th December, 2010 (yes, I still remember that day) and the clock was showing time as 08:10 p.m. I and my husband were with gynecologist and she declared that I was expecting. We just smiled at each other. I could not say anything. She just instructed me for some of the things to be taken care and we left for home. At home, we jumped, danced, hugged, laughed and cried together. Yes, we were going to be parents. I felt that excitement of someone being inside me. We were not able to sleep for the whole night. We just talked while laying down on the bed. We talked about how we will play with him/her, how we will take care of him, how we will make him ready for the world, our dreams and lot of things. In India, its illegal to investigate for the gender of the baby and one more excitement added was BOY or GIRL…..Although I and my husband knew in the heart that its going to be a boy and we addressed him as son always. For the first time in my life (yes, I emphasize that, for the first time), I was so happy. Really, being pregnant is the golden phase and for me the phase was already started.

Those 9 months, I would always like to re-live. That growing belly and that first kick, that first ultra sound and that baby shower. Those endless talks about the member who was supposed to complete the family word for us. We searched and read and implemented lots of things and took best care while that little one was growing and was learning to live life. We talked with him, we wrote to him, we prayed for his health, we worked for him, we planned for him…..Even after 24 months, I can feel  those moments.  I want to mention one thing over here. I continued working and worked till last moment of pregnancy. The expected due date was 21st July, 2011. Although the growth of baby since last couple of ultra sounds was showing that, he might come early.

Finally…..18th July, 2011 – I and my mom went to the gynecologist for the usual visit. I was advised to visit gynecologist, every 3rd day as it was the last phase of pregnancy. She did ultra sound and told me that everything was well. Although she mentioned one thing – the baby was gaining weight like anything and it seemed like normal delivery was almost impossible. She asked me to go for advanced ultra sound and I and my mom followed. At the advanced ultra sound, we came to know that baby had a tube around the neck and it was dangerous. We went to the gynecologist, by this time my husband came back from work. We decided to go for C-section. And the doctor advised me to admit in the hospital by mid night and we could have the surgery next day. We left for home. On the way, we went to temple and paid a final pray for the little one who was going to join us from next day. At home, we wound up as fast as possible. I sent e-mails to work and shared current status of project with the team. Called to US office about my condition and they wished me a luck. Took dinner and talked for a while. We were excited. And at 11:15 p.m., when rain was showing its love to us, I left for hospital with my brother in his car. My husband followed us.  At hospital, we settled down. Took final pictures of my grown belly and slept while dreaming for the new world and new family member, the star of our life.

And the shiny sun rose. Doctor visited me and told me that we were going to try for normal delivery first. She gave me an injection and my water broke. My mom and my husband were accompanying me. We were talking and laughing but I was feeling slightly uncomfortable. I started chanting that MANTRA called NAVKAR in Jain. At 1:30 p.m. doctor took me on the table and asked me how I was feeling. She checked me again and one more ultra sound and finally concluded that normal delivery was not possible. She gave a call to anesthetist, pediatrician and two junior doctors.  And the countdown began….

My doctor asked me to change in gown and took me on operation table where gang of doctors were present. I chanted the NAVKAR for the last time and said “I Love You” to my baby. My husband kissed me on my forehead and left the operation theatre. The anesthetist explained about anesthesia, its purpose and how its going to work. I was ok with that. He gave me an injection on my back and within few seconds I felt that I was not feeling anything. Doctors started the process and my husband was seeing me from the small glass window, outside the operation theatre. I was half awoke and tried to hear conversation between doctors. And finally, I heard those words – Push. Although they were not for me. The two junior doctors pushed and finally my baby breathed and cried. Yes, that was the only day, I was happy while my baby cried. The pediatrician cleaned him and directly brought him to me (I was still in Operation Theatre and doctors were taking stitches). He was crying hard with open mouth. The pediatrician told me that “It’s a SON” and I was on twelfth cloud. I kissed him and he took him for other observations. Meanwhile, I was transferred to the room, where I was supposed to spend next 5 days. Due to heavy bleeding, I was shivering and was asking for more and more warmth. Finally, when they provided heater, I felt better. My eyes closed while my son was still crying. My father gave him first food of his life (sweet good) and gave him blessings (btw, this was the secret wish – I always wanted my kid to be like my father-my role model). I kept opening and closing my eyes and tried to observe things but was quite sub conscious and wanted to sleep only. The day was almost over and the star was born. My lap and life was full today. I felt so grateful to the GOD and to this universe that they gave me a chance to experience the most beautiful phase of woman’s life. Today, I was complete. And here is the first picture of our star (unfortunately, we did not take much of the pictures on that day and that’s the biggest mistake, I know).

Today, he is 24 months old and passed through terrific two. Within last 2 years, we went through almost all the good and bad things about life. We had to do adjustments in each terms, I was supposed to join work, we had dreams about his life and our lives to fulfill, less sleep and more stress, less smiles and more fights, less togetherness and more separation…but all that was worth. Yes, that was worth for being a parent. For two years, we have been taking care of him like a little GOD. Even if he misses a single meal time, we get upset. We have accustomed ourselves in a way that he can get more time from us, we can play with him, laugh with him and dance with him.

Today, after 2 years, I can say, we have succeeded in many terms. All those sacrifices were worth. We are shaping his life in a good manner and will continue to do so. He is the healthiest kid in the playgroup. He keeps jumping and running for the whole day and never complains about tiredness. Thanks to our search on internet about healthy soups and recipes for kids J.  His presence has brought togetherness in our lives. I and my husband are not able to spend even an hour together but that’s fine because we are spending it with our son – Sharvil.

I just want to convey one thing over here, to my beloved son – we love you so much and this birth story is a tribute to you, to your birth and to your presence in our lives. Stay shining my star…

I want to present some of the best (although all are best and it was tough for me to select) memories of his life :

  • This is how we sent an SMS to announce his birth

         Announcing the newest member of our family

        Our new ray of sunshine

         A baby boy stepped on to the world on 19th July, 2011

        Proud parents —

  • This is how we welcomed him and distributed sweets to friends and relatives 

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  • Sharvil at his first birthday party

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  • And finally, Sharvil today, before a few hours of leaving for second celebration. Yes, we are excited.

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 Growing up with parenthood. 🙂

 

Daily Prompt: Dream Home

You win a contest to build your dream home. Draft the plans.

Why to draft the plan? I have everything ready in mind and here is how my dream home will look

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(photo : future-dreamhome.blogspot.com)

Oh!! Didn’t you find me there?

I am sitting on that black chair with my hubby and my grand children are enjoying the toddler pool.

And suddenly we hear some noise and we all look at the sky. That helicopter is taking round around my dream home. And suddenly a rain of flower petals starts. Oh yes, its our wedding anniversary today and my son and his beautiful wife are showering us with their love. We are so happy…

And again I hear some noise. Oh, its my two years old son who was not comfortable and started crying. I had to wake up. Oh dear dream, I miss you so much….

Daily Prompt: Opposite Day

If you normally write non-fiction, post a photo. If you normally post images, write fiction. If you normally write fiction, write a poem. If you normally write poetry, draw a picture.

 

I think, normally I do write fiction, non-fictions, quotes, pictures and poems. SO for the Opposite day, I did not have anything to write opposite.

And then, my naught mind sent a signal. Why shouldn’t I grab this opportunity and play a game with you dear readers? Good idea? (at least I think, yes).

OK, so today I am going to post a game. A simple game. Answers may be available on internet but I would prefer your mind to be exercised for 5 mins, while you are here.

So….ready? Get Set GO…..

Find words of any length, by arranging below mentioned letters. You are not supposed to use every letter every time.

emstoaybx

For ex : best, yeast

Please post your answers so I can announce the winner :-).

Waiting for your replies. Have a good day.

My Life……Daily Prompt : Earworm

When I started with you

I dreamt for the most amazing experience

I wanted to live you

I wanted to enjoy you

I wanted to learn from you

I wanted to grow with you

I wanted to love you

I felt so grateful that I was given an opportunity

Gradually I realized that

It was tough for me to enjoy while you were throwing tantrums now and while

It was tough for me to learn while you were trying to make my busy in mechanical routine

It was tough for me to love while you were ready to show me so many hatereds

It was almost like you asked me to move from upside down

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(photo : remediesforhealth.wordpress.com)

BUT….

You were there always

You allowed me to experience and understand

You showed me true meaning of yours

You taught me that you are much bigger than any experience

And so, I came to know,

I love you the way you are, my LIFE

I love you the most

And I am grateful that I have been chosen to live the human life

I promise you

I will not waste any moment of yours

You are precious and will be always

LOVE YOU MY LIFE !!!