How life would have turned up if I had married to Rachit?
Zoya asked herself but immediately she knocked herself to be practical. This was not first time. Within last 10 years, almost 1000 times, on different occasions, this question popped up in her mind for a moment. Most of the time, she was able to control herself but sometimes she started daydreaming about life with Rachit would have turned.
At the age of 36, she is looking like just 25. No one can ever imagine that she is a mother of 4 years old lovely daughter. She maintained herself in a way that everyone (especially males) will look at her with crossed eyes but will never be able to talk or behave wrong. Working in a corporate world for 7 years, she knows the boundaries and limitations and how to maintain professional relationship.
Today was a quite relax day at office. She was able to complete her work earlier and had spare time of about 2 hours. She put on the headphone and turned the music on. Her all time favorite playlist was playing songs one by one. And when it came to “Kisi nazar ko tera intezaaar aaj bhi hai (there is some sight, still waiting for you)”, she could not control herself. Her closed eyes filled up with tears. Again Rachit came live in front of her and again same question – how life would have been.
Its been 10 years, she met him for the first time. She was 26 and her parents were worriedly searching for best suit for her. As per her parents’ suggestion, she registered herself with some of the matrimonial sites. And one fine day, a guy from USA sent her a request. His profile looked interesting –
Name : Rachit Ajmera
Age : 29
Height / Weight : 5’ 9” / 65 kg
Study : M.E. (Chemical)
Current location : Chicago, USA
Parents : Father – Businessman, Mother-housewife
Siblings : 1 brother (unmarried), 1 sister (unmarried)
That’s what she could know about him from his profile. She told about this to her parents and her parents allowed her to move ahead and chat/communicate with him so that they both can know each other. And that chain of e-mails started. Hesitated in the beginning, their e-mails were only about “Hi” and “wats up”. It was 2003, and no smart phone was invented. Even mobile phones were not common. E-mails and ISD calls were the only communicator. One day Rachit wrote in his e-mail about his next visit to India. He was visiting his family during December. Zoya showed herself crossed fingers. She wanted to meet this guy, with matrimonial perspective in mind. And in following e-mails, they exchanged details about where they can meet. Zoya shared her residence phone number. Now, the only thing remained was to wait. For couple of times, Zoya dropped e-mails to Rachit but Rachit was too busy while packing and shopping for family. His replies were one-liner. Zoya was anxious. At the age of 26, when you are dying to meet someone, who can turn your life, how would you feel?
And finally Rachit was in India. That too, she came to know via e-mail. After his arrival, he dropped an e-mail to Zoya that he was in India since last couple of days and was enjoying family time. Zoya was angry that he did not even call up. There were thousands thoughts in her mind. He might not look forward or he might not be as serious as me or he might have another thing in mind. She decided to ignore him for sometime. The thumb rule of any love story – ignorance always fuels the excitement. And that’s what happened to this story (although this story did not turned into love story yet). One fine morning, Rachit called up at her residence number and Zoya’s father took the call. Rachit introduced himself. As Zoya’s father knew him via Zoya, he greeted him and talked with him for a minute and then called Zoya. Those words “Zoya, Rachit is at the other end” gave her a shiver. She picked up the call and could speak only “Hello”. Her ears were waiting to hear that voice and finally Rachit was there at the other end. They talked for 5 mins about here and there and ended up.
Zoya could not concentrate on office work on that day. She decided something and came back to home. In the evening, at dinner time, she talked to her parents about her wish to visit Mumbai, where Rachit’s family settled. Her parents, hesitatingly, permitted her. They trusted their daughter like anything and allow her to visit Rachit. No one knew the future but Zoya’s heart was singing a song which was signing something.
And finally Zoya landed in Mumbai. And yes, they met. That first meeting, when they were travelling in the bus, towards Rachit’s home, was the most memorable time for both of them. At heart, Zoya was sure that Rachit was the person, she was waiting for. But She could not know what Rachit was thinking. And the fact that Rachit turned out Zoya’s cousin’s childhood friend, put them more closer. Zoya received good reference about him from her cousin and her cousin tried to make up Rachit’s mind for Zoya. She visited Rachit’s parents too and they too were happy with her. Finally after two days of stay in Mumbai, when Zoya was supposed to leave, they met for final meeting. They were supposed to say “yes” or “no” to their respective family members. Zoya was more than “YES” but Rachit was still in dilemma. He had questions about Zoya’s fluency in English and her education and blah blah blah. Finally he convinced Zoya to convey that they were ready to move ahead but need sometime. Zoya was fine with that but both families were not happy.
Rachit’s parents knew that he was leaving India within 2 weeks and was supposed to visit next year only. They wanted him to be engaged at least. Zoya’s parents too were not in mood to wait for another year, without commitment. But Rachit was not ready for any commitment. He continued to talk with Zoya. They talked almost everyday and about every thing. Rachit visited Zoya’s city and they spent 2 hours together while roaming around the city. That evening was the best evening for Zoya. They did not even touch each other but that feeling of togetherness was overwhelming. At one point even Rachit was moved and said that he wanted to commit something but was not sure. And that was enough for Zoya. She did not ask for anything. Finally at railway station, while saying Bye to Rachit, her eyes were teary. She was sad. Sad at the thought of being away from her love (yes, Rachit was her love, although Rachit never confirmed it). And time flew and two weeks passed away. Rachit was supposed to fly back to US and that thought was killing Zoya. They talked for 5 times, the day Rachit was leaving. Zoya was up till 3 a.m., till Rachit’s flight took off from 500 miles away. They met only twice and that too for 2 hours, each time. But Rachit sow a seed of hope and love in Zoya’s heart. Practical Zoya was not able to justify this feeling and reactions to herself but she was feeling sad and happy at the same time.
And Rachit flew to US. And that long distance relationship started. Zoya kept writing long e-mails to Rachit. To her 5 e-mails, Rachit used to reply 2 e-mails but with details. Now, Zoya had his US mobile number. In 2003, ISD call from India to US was charged at 10Rs/min. Zoya was spending almost 3/4th of her salary on ISD calls. she never complained or conveyed this thing to her parents. But when social pressures arouse and her parents too pushed her to meet other candidates, she could not deny. On which basis she could have deny? Rachit was talking with her, he was replying her e-mails but he never said anything, which can confirm / replicate Zoya’s feeling. Zoya was confused, most of the time. She used to cry for the whole night. She used to think about Rachit for the whole day. And finally, after 10 months of his departure from India, Zoya’s parents arranged a meeting with another candidate. The guy was good and Zoya did not have any reason to say “No”. She was not sure about what to do. Her parents advised her to move on. She took a chance and called Rachit. Her words, which she thought would work
My parents are pressurizing me and they have arranged my engagement with another guy within two days
Did not make any effect to Rachit. She thought it will make Rachit say something about their relationship but instead Rachit said that practically it was impossible for him to reach India by that time. This answer again created dilemma for Zoya but this time, she too decided to move ahead. She said yes to the other guy – Pratham, and their engagement ceremony celebrated.
Pratham, a very smart guy was a psycho. He was working with well-known IT company. He proposed Zoya to exchange their e-mail account’s passwords. When Zoya denied, Pratham broke her password and accessed all the e-mails. He read all the e-mails between Zoya and Rachit. He cried in front of Zoya and she finally accepted that she loved Rachit but that was one way feeling and she has closed that chapter of her life. That helped Pratham settled down for sometime but time and time, he would pick that topic and would behave and abuse Zoya. Zoya did not have courage to break the relationship. And finally one day, while still dreaming for Rachit, she married to Pratham.
For 3 years, she tried from each cell of her body to satisfy Pratham, to settle down with him, to help him forget about Rachit, but Pratham was psycho. He abused her sexually, emotionally and physically. The more Pratham talked about Rachit, more difficult it was for Zoya to forget Rachit. And finally, after 3 years of marriage and million number of insults and abusements, Zoya took first courageous step of her life. She moved out. Moved out from Pratham’s life and his house. Unknown about future ahead, she came to her parents’ house and stayed with them for another 2 years. Within those 2 years, she saw Rachit’s profile for more than 1000 times on facebook and orkut. Rachit was married now and his pictures with his wife were saying that he was happy. During a weak moment, she even thought about Rachit’s divorce from his current wife so that she can be with Rachit. But reality was different. Rachit was not even aware about it and probably forgot her completely.
And another phase of Zoya’s life started. Her parents got her married again. The loneliness of last two years ended and after facing so much social pressure, Zoya too accepted the relationship happily. Anup – Zoya’s second husband fortunately turned a very good human being and supportive husband. Zoya’s life was moving ahead and she gave birth to a beautiful girl – Navya. Zoya never had any complain about Anup. Her life was full. Days were flying and life was growing. Work, home, kid and husband made her life full and she hardly had time to think about herself or anything else. But among this chaos, she used to remember Rachit. And her heart never lose an opportunity to think about life with Rachit would have been.
This is how love stories end. I have written so many stories about love but this is the story, nearer to my heart. I know Zoya personally and have been witnessing every phase of her life. Today when I see a smile on her face, I know it took her too much to get that smile. And even wider smile could have been there, if Rachit would have been there with her. But then again, who gets everything in life? Life is like that…mysterious. But we do not have option other than living it fully. After all, everyone get it once only.
I just want to remind you readers, this is a true story and I really really wish that Rachit read this story at least at once. As per me, he is not even aware what Zoya has gone through in life while dreaming about him and what cost she has paid. Rachit…..if you are there, can you please post two kind words to Zoya and it will make her rest of the life happy.
(photo : polkadottedpot.wordpress.com)