How come I can think of like that?
After looking at full moon from my 17th floored balcony and after feeling those special moments again, I had to scold my heart silently. This was not the first time. That guilt of cheating Raahil is sweeping me fully now a days but I cannot control my heart, especially when I am with Darshil.
Sorry, I started my story again but I am not able to help it. I am in a constant dilemma of cheating someone and loving someone else. Sometimes I am angry with myself and sometimes I am guilty. Sometimes I am pampering myself and sometimes I am crying. The more I want to come out of the dilemma, more I get into it.
Soha dear, please come inside. Its raining. Papa shouted and I ran into my bedroom.
Hi! I am Soha, Soha Mahajan. At the age of 22, with enviable height and body size, I am blessed with beautiful face, long hair and black wide eyes. No male can easily take off his eyes from me and I know it very well. Being an only child of my parents, I enjoy every luxury of life and still my heart is nowhere. Like everyone, I too feel my life story is complex.
This story started when I slapped him for the first time, at the age of 5. Raahil, our neighbour’s son, one year elder than me, was trying to snatch my newly bought bright yellow toy car and I slapped him. In turn, he kissed me and asked me to not get angry. At the age of 5 and even now, at the age of 22, I am not sure how come Raahil was so mature and calm. Not to mention, we became friends easily and started sharing not only toys but our dinner too. Most of the time, he would run fast towards my home with a dish full of hot and tangy Manchurian, his mom prepared. In turn, I would shout for him when I learned my mother had prepared chocolate-almond muffins, his favourite. Being in same school gave us an opportunity to spend more time with each other while travelling to school. In our school bus, we were used to discuss everything and anything with our innocence and curiosity. Raahil used to protect me from everyone and was a guide for me.
(photo : factsvillage.com)
Time flew and years passed. Childhood turned into teenage but we were same. I still loved to play basketball in our backyard and he used to pull my hair when I could not resolve that math problem. Despite of my mother’s dislike about spending time with him, I used to spend my evenings with him. We were used to ride our bikes to visit the nearby pond. We would park our bikes and would sit at the bench and would talk about everything under sky. I never felt any hesitation while talking with him and him too never treated me as a girl. For him, I was his best friend and for me, he was my hero. Yes, hormonal changes are observed faster in girls. At the age of 13, when I was not sure what exactly marriage means, I used to tell myself that “I would marry Raahil and we will have 5 kids – 2 boys and 3 girls”. Although I never expressed my feelings but I was seeing myself falling for him more and more, every day. On the other end, he was still in that friendship era where he would openly share his feelings for that beautiful tom boyish class representative of his class. I used to laugh at him and used to tell him, “Raahil, your marriage is fixed. Why are you looking here and there?”. To this comment, he was used to get surprised and was used to ask me ”with whom? Did my mom tell you about it? How do you know?” and I used to smile.
But the way dreams break as dawn pours, my dreams too were shattered. I still remember that evening. The evening, which came with unexpected news, changed both of our lives.
To be continued ….