After meeting in super market and having ice-cream together, Keya was awake till late, thinking about each other. When someone, almost unknown, makes you realize that life you have lived so far was just a waste, you feel worthless. Keya kept thinking about it. Ankur was not wrong.
Not able to find time for her own was the excuse she had offered everywhere and to everyone till now. What was the reason? She was not used to be like that. Why all her hobbies and passions had died suddenly? She looked at Nimit. He was sleeping like a rock. Keya went out in balcony and looked at sky, breathing deep. Life with Nimit for 10 years came alive.
As everyone claimed, Nimit was a good husband. There was no harassment, no abuse and no stress. But was it enough? Nimit was a kind of lethargic person since long and he never took interest in anything else other than his business. No support or help at home and dependency for everything were Nimit’s characteristics. Any non-business related activity would always face rejection from Nimit. In the beginning, Keya was used to manage her hobbies and Nimit’s dependency both. But with time, and after delivering Vihan (her son), she got busier in routine life. Everyday, for once, she was used to regret about the life she was living and how she had to leave everything behind to nurture two kids – Vihan and Nimit.
As they say, you become like the people, with whom you spend time. For Keya, all the friends and creativity were left behind. She would not have talked with any person other than Nimit and maid for days. Whether she liked it or not, just to bear the routine life, she had to struggle while fulfilling all the unsaid demands of Nimit. With time, she started feeling more tired, more exhausted and drained everyday and it was mental drain rather than physical. Her weekends gradually turned into couch+TV combination while serving Nimit and Vihan and running around for all the extra work needed to be done. Her subconscious mind had accepted that this is the life she was supposed to live and she was almost out of that complaint mode. But today, very casually but strongly, Ankur had conveyed something which had awaken her soul. So many questions suddenly filled up her mind…
Why I am feeling trapped in marriage life with Nimit?
Why it is mandatory for me to be into marriage when I know this marriage is not working for me and it has just given me additional responsibility of two people?
Why I do not feel strong enough to live life on my own way and why I have accepted the life, which I would have never lived otherwise?
Why I feel like I am being taken for granted but not able to do anything about it?
What happens to me if I decide to leave Nimit?
How valid it is for me to waste my life for someone who does not even understand meaning of life?
Why I am not ME, when I am with Nimit? Why I have to be so conscious every minute?
Why as a human I have to suffer silently on the name of marriage?
Why all my desires are supposed to be suppressed just because I am married or a parent?
Many of us, being male or female, might be feeling this way in marriage, while posting happy pictures on social media. Do we have answers to Keya’s questions?